teething pain, and a battle with my brain!

Hope you enjoyed my last post about my labour. For now I'm going to update you on the past few days. Which have not been brill for me. Monday I did NOTHING! I was such a little slob. I didn't wash up, empty the nappy bin, make dinner. Hubby got in from work and I was just like sorry but I'm having a day off. I was hormonal spotty and I went to my nans with bean juice down my leg.
I'm not normally a messy cow but Cinderella needed a day off. And reece did a brill job in his pink marigolds. I did start to feel a little guilty when he still hadn't sat down at 9 at night. But I still didn't shift my butt. To all you mums out their take a day off I dare you! Unfortunately my mood hasn't improved since. I'm just going down and down and the negative thoughts are creeping back in! And its so frustrating I just want to be me again.
And to top it off Dolly is teething. Either that or she's possessed. If I even THINK about leaving her side she kicks off. She has been an angel child up until this point. Now I'm experiencing real motherhood and its not easy. How are you supposed to even go to the toilet? I tried leaving her to cry but 45 minutes later I'm close to tears myself, so I just had to give in!  Reece got in and I just passed  her over and begged for an hours piece and quiet. And a chance to eat and put some pants on. After that hour, I was back in mum mode and was calm. So if anybody has any magical tips for teething please please save me!
And I've done it all again today. All I've ate is chocolate, this girls got me running round like crazy! How long does teething last? I want my giggle pants back. And what's even worse when Reece gets home she doesn't seem to be as bad. So it appears to him like I am just being a drama queen.
On a more positive note I am off out with a friend tonight. I might have a cheeky prosecco, and hopefully my mood will improve.
Alcohol is a depressant I know. But I've been told to try and be me more. As a way of shifting the depression. And if a mid week glass of prosecco was the old me then pass me the bottle. Whilst I was unaware of what I was suffering with, I just changed my life completely. I stopped all things I enjoyed no fizzy pop, no cups of coffee, I didn't even care what food I ate. Now I understand things more, I'm aware I stopped all those things, because the depression stripped me as a person. Wanting to remove all my joy. But I have to rise above it. This doesn't mean going out and getting hammered or doing things to the extreme but just building myself up bit by bit.
So here I am again at the bottom having to fight my way to the top again. And that little glass of prosecco and a giggle with my friend is the first step. Depression can push me down and down but I'm always going to try to push it aside. Or more likely tell it "to go fuck itself"
So wish me luck, and I hope my next post will be all positive. And if you find yourself in the same position I am in. Go and find the old you. Start small, I really enjoy doing makeup so I started here. That was the very start of my recovery. Painting my face is like painting my heart from black to red. And I looked a million times better for it, its amazing what a bit of contour can do! Dolly was like who the fuck is this glamour puss and where's the eye bags?".... or eye suitcases.
 So if you find your going mad battling your thoughts. Instead of putting all your energy into trying to force them away. Just simply get up and do you. What ever that is go for a walk, paint your nails or even just have a chat with the postman. My postman has no idea how big a deal it was to me standing chatting away to him. But I'm sure he enjoyed the chats as much as I did. People are kinder than you think. So kind that he didn't even mention my to tight onesie and messy hair!
Chat soon sexpots!
P.s blogging this has improved my mood! See do you it helps.