Rise up!

Went to meet a friend for coffee today. My friend has no clue about my postnatal depression. I find it helpful that only a select few are aware as it gives me a chance to go out and not feel like I'm being judged or have to answer the standard, hows things? have you had any thoughts blah blah blah. Not that I don't like people to care but its nice to have a break and just chat about normal things like my new sparkly cushions and how dolly got shit all over my leg this morning and had a wee all over the changing station!
On the way to have my coffee a song came on called 'rise up' by Andrea Day. This song is beautiful and reminded me of the dark place id been in recently. For a moment I wanted to turn the car round drive home and not have to face the world with a smile pretending everything is ok. But I ignored that doubt and faced the world and feel so much better for doing so. I even burst into song on the way home! I don't want  to blog everyday, but wanted people who need a little push, or just love to embrace their inner Whitney Housten (shes in their somewhere) to have a listen and see if helps you in anyway? Because for me for a moment it felt like I wasn't alone in the world of depression.
So yesterdays blog ended at the point where Reece popped the question. Obviously i said yes, I mean who wouldn't  after he'd just totally wound me up during the couples massage giving the fit beautician the eye whist I'm there with my damp frizzy hair wearing the tacky free spa slippers and bobbly dressing gown. We got engaged and got married 2 years later. We didn't rush getting married one day I just woke up and said right lets book it and I had a ring on it 4 months later. All bridesmaid had to sign contracts agreeing not to get pregnant, arrested or to fat to get in their dress before the big day. It also stated they couldn't have tattoos or drastic hair changes without prior consultation with the bride. You may think this is dramatic but trust me my besties need keeping in line, they are something else we cant even go to the shop without one of us falling in a nettle bush (ok that was me who fell but they pushed me).
The wedding itself was just us, funny crazy and full of love. It involved a pile on, a broken foot, the wedding party playing football including us girls one bridesmaid ended up in a bush! I sat in my dress till like 2am scoffing take away pizza with all our pissed up friends (so classy) And to top it of we went back to our room had a bit of jiggy jiggy and 9 months later dolly came along! You may be wondering why im telling you all this but I just want to express how life can be perfect but can be turned upside down, and to do that ive got to start from the beginning. My next blog I will tell you all about my pregnancy the good the bad and the piles!

Its been a few hours since I did this post and i've just realised we forgot to get the bill and pay for our coffee and food #mumsbehindbars