Do me a favour just let me have a normal natural labour

Its blog time baby. And this one I'm going to chat about my labour. So I left my last post at the point where my waters had broke after 2 days having contractions. Believe it or not that point when I was at home contracting was the most painful and stressful times for me. Its terrifying labouring for the first time. You've had like 5 contractions  your sure the baby is going to come any second. Wish I had known it has to get a lot worse before baby makes an appearance. Once I was admitted to hospital I was so much calmer.  Due to being in an environment where I knew I was safe. Not at home watching boss baby, not sleeping worrying that reece and Sheila across the road will be delivering my baby. Like I say once I was admitted I was so calm. Even in active labour I never lost control. I just let it be.
Anyway I thought once your waters broke you had one gush. The fact it just kept coming every so often and splatting on the flood like an over filled water bomb was so embarrassing. I kept trying to mop it up. The midwife assured me "leave it we have cleaners for that" I was like you need more that just cleaners for this your going to need a plumber!! I ended up in the toilet hiding.
Once the water stopped things happened pretty quick. I kept refusing gas and air because I wanted to have it when the pain got worse so I would feel the benefit. The midwife literally shoved it in my mouth telling me this is worse now suck! To this I ranted "if id sucked in the first place I wouldn't be in the position". Awks!
Then it was into the pool I went. Ladies I loved the pool. Even though I didn't end up giving birth in here it was just so good for me. All the lights was dimmed and mood lighting was on and relaxing music was being played. The essential oils where wafting around. I would have muched prefured to have been in with a glass of prosecco and at the least a bikini on. But for now its me panting like a dog with my white ass stuck in the air!
 In a strange way I was enjoying it, I think that was because with dolly being breach I didn't think id get the opportunity to give birth. I just kept saying "I'm doing this" I even got the urge to push a few times. Unfortunately this urge died off. And my spa day was over.
After a few hours floating around like a whale while reece flirted with the student I had to get out the pool. Don't think I let this flirtathon slide oh no I gave them both what for. Looking back now they wasn't flirting but I was extra sensitive. And 13 stone with hairy armpits my confidence wasn't at its peek.
I was then sent to a normal room. Where I laboured for agers. Things had just paused. I was stuck at 8cm. The midwife advised me to have an epidural but I kept refusing and just had pain killers. I wanted things to be as natural as possible.
Another 4 hours passed and several examinations and I finally gave in and had an epidural. Which the doctor didn't want to do as I was contracting and he was worried I may move when he did it, which may lead to me being paralised. But the midwife was adamant. The room was full of medical staff when he did it. By this point id been in active labour for like 12 hours, and sruck at 8cm for what felt like forever. Just a few more cm and I would be able to push!
The epidural didn't work so it had to be topped up. Everything was going wrong. My contractions where not regular some where huge, some where tiny, the timings would be seconds apart then would wait agers for the next. Even the drip they had me on had been put in wrong and my hand went fucking massive. Like huge!
Hands where going in and out my muff like it was a bloody vending machine. After 16 hours of active labour, By this point I had infections and so did baby. I was out of it had no clue what was going off. They broke the news to me that I was going to have to have an emergency C-section. Once I was told this, Its like I could see clear again. Yes it was the last thing I wanted, Id given everything to avoid this outcome. I asked everyone to leave the room I just sat and cried for a while. But it was over and once I knew this its like I came round and was able to talk and respond again. So off I was wheeled to surgery chatting away about sparkly shoes.
A cute little thing we did. From my first contraction we snapped little videos of what was happening. We found this really fun to do and a great distraction. If I was mid contraction reece would just wack the phone out like "come on you don't want to look a wuss on camara". We even made a little music video.
Ill update you soon onwhy labour wasn't happening  and life was once dolly made an appearance. The happy times and when depression entered our life. When I wanted to end my life and saved someone else's. Being called a hero by people whilst depression is calling me a failure.
On a more positive note I slept all night last night. No scoffing a chochi orange at 3am and whilst watching love island. So tonight I'm going to try and sleep without meds which I relied on since Friday. Time to wash the bean juice off my leg that i've been wearing since 9am.