Shaun returned to work today after 2 weeks off. He's taken charge whilst off work. Doing most of the feeds and nappies. I've taken a back seat and let him get on with it. Its nice for them to have daddy daughter time.
So today i felt like its my first day back at work also. But we soon got into the swing of it. Part of me couldn't wait for him to start back to work. I like the routine me and lottie have and i seem to get more done when i am on myself.
Shaun can be a little distracting when he's constantly got the horn on (feeling horny) and needs about 5 meals a day! Talking of the horn , i am having the most random dreams and apparently I've been talking in my sleep. Saying the moat embarrassing things apparently last night i shouted "SUCK MY FUCKING TIT"! How awkward imagine if i woke up and shaun had his face under my top. Id be like what you doing you pervert?!
Anyway as mentioned in my blog about me preforming CPR. I was pumping on the lady's chest so hard i got a trapped nerve! Which at time left me unable to move. To the point i got stuck on the floor during my yoga class, how awkward.
Well it was getting worse and worse. Until one day i got down on the floor to tend to lottie and could not move. Shaun tried to help but the slightest nudge would have me in agony. Screaming with a screwed up face like a bulldog. #screwface
Breathing was hurting and all i could think to do was call 999. The ambulance came, thank god it was 2 women as i was only in my bra. For some reason shaun thought it was hilarious and i was just being a massive drama queen. And readers if you laugh i will know and i wll find you. This was not funny. It was agony.
To get me to move they got me on the gas and air. And i was driven to a&e where i was treated with pain relief. And with rest gradually my back got better. I honest thought i was having a heart attack or something.
Anyway lets go back to when i was chatting about me starting to have time on my own. When shaun returned to work, days after my self diagnosed heart attack, my neice came and stayed over. Shes a teenager, and was and still is unaware that I am ill. She is a breath off fresh air. We always have fun and this time was no different.
When it was time for to go home i was a little upset. And for a short period off time I was going to be alone. Just an hour or so. But I was fine with it. I felt ok, and reassured everyone that i trusted myself to be alone.
After my neice left, 5 minutes if not less and i had to call for help as I managed to cut myself and I was having to stand outside to prevent turning my cream carpet red. What had happened was. Id had a massive rain beetle which id named barry dyeing on my patio for like a week. Everyday I opened the curtains their he was bless him stuck on his back legs in the air fighting for his life. So off out id go with my little stick give him a poke onto his front and set him on his merry way. But he just kept coming back. Someone suggested maybe he needed rain. We had not had any rain for a while so while my neice was over we got a glass of water and soaked him in it.
Then it was time for my neice to go home and I thought nothing else about the glass we had left on the patio until I stepped on it sqaused barry and shattered the glass cutting my foot open.
This then led to me calling my dad and asking him to drive over as quick as he can because I had left lottie in the living room and couldn't go back inside because my foot was leaking all over. Luckily i could see her and she was fast asleep. So their I stood like a flamingo (they stand on 1 leg right?) for about 45 minutes waiting to be rescued.
Once dad arrived at the back gate he shouted "I'm here" to which I screamed
"argggggghhhhhh ive done it again"
Id only gone and stepped forward with my good foot and stood on the shattered pile of glass and cut my other foot open! You couldn't make it up! Mum came round the corner and almost vommed when she saw all the blood and dad had me sat down on a plastic deck chair in no time. After examining BOTH feet he told me it wasn't that bad. But then I caught a glimpse of it in the relection from the patio door. And I saw it was a total mess.
Shaun was called home from work whilst me and dad laughed it off and mum sat staring at me suspiciously. She later admitted she thought it was an attempt to self harm. She couldn't understand why I was laughing when my feet was in a state. The truth is who wouldn't laugh, id been trying to save a beetles life for a week and I just killed it and cut my feet open, id cut both my feet open at different times on the same piece of glass and I had no feeling in my feet.
When shaun got home from work he had a face like thunder.I think by this point he had had enough. In such a short space of time he had had to dash home for a fire, then I was in a&e after my meltdown, then because i thought id broke my back and now he had returned home to my feet wrapped in dripping tea towels sat on the back garden freezing. He new it wasn't my fault but I couldn't help feeling guilty. He got in he didn't talk to me or ask me if I was ok he was just on auto pilot.
From here my parents took lottie home with them and it was a&e for the night for me and shaun. Everyone was staring at me because i was walking like such an idiot, leaving bloody footprints. My fluffly pink flip flops had to go in the bin!
And it was stiches in BOTH feet for me. With the help of gas and air. Which makes you hallucinate. And what i was imagining wasn't good. I imagined being back in labour, preforming mouth to mouth and cpr, i also imagined i was dying. Which was surreal and part of me still thinks i was dying. Every breath i took i lost a little more life to the point where i only had a little life left and i was just drifting away.
Shaun had noticed my eyes had gone into my head and the doctor told him to remove the pipe from my mouth. From this point i felt like i was slowly retuning back in the room. And was starting to take large breaths and with each one life was returning. I just kept thinking keep breathing, breath for lottie breath for Shaun until all the life had returned in me.
I woke up like what the fuck just happened, am i alive? The doctor explained what had happened and of i hobbled back home. Where i couldn't walk, lift lottie and had to use crutches. Luckily i remembered i had a sledge on the back garden so i got shuan to drag me and lottie around on it. Warning don’t try this at home it haven me friction burn on my bum (asif things wasn’t bad enough) I've uploaded a video i took at the time to make you smile. My ideas of transportation just got better and better I’ll share more in my next blog. Put it this way ain’t no stitches stopping this hunny shopping.
One last thing i see i have more than 100 views on my blogs but only 12 followers who i like to call me 'side chicks'. Please can you follow my blog :) Chat soon i hope day 2 of your new year has
been good. And you haven't given up on you resolutions just yet. I'm leaving the house amd removing my pjs for the first time all year tomorrow! I just love the all year joke. I drive shaun mad with them, he's had to hear them all year....
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