On the way to mummies and buggies guess what? I drove over the bridge of doom. If you are unaware of what happened on this bridge here is a link to the blog explaining.
https://mummyleitbe.blogspot.com/2018/12/all-is-fixed.html
This is a huge hurdle for me to drive over it with just me and lottie in the car. Driving the car id been so scared to drive for months and months. We have 2 cars a bmw and a fiesta. The fiesta is the car I was driving on the awful day and I have only just started to drive it again. I didn't drive for a long time after this happened. For so many reasons, mainly I didn't trust myself. I didn't think I could drive a car without crashing it. But recovery is all about trust. And I'm so happy to say I trust myself. I don't want to crash my car, depression wants me to but I am stronger than that. I'm not saying it is easy I was petrified to tackle all these things. But now I've done it the next time will be easier until its a distant memory.
Wednesday afternoon we had a 2 year olds birthday to go to. So I dug out the matching headbands obvs, and we spent the afternoon playing in ball pits and screaming while whizzing down giant slides.
Me and shaun had a little bicker on the way to that party. Oooops. This was because I had to ask him for the second day in a row not to go to the gym. Because I needed to get ready for 3pm and it was 2pm and I was standing pale ass naked next to lotties cot while she screamed the house down. So I had to call shaun SOS. This obviously ruffles his feathers because its another day he cant go to the gym. I'm like wow slow down muscle man I still see you with your abs and ting. He hates the fact he can not go to the gym as much, I'm like hun your bodys changing? Those shrinking biceps can be built back up again, I have a scar from hip to hip, my stretch marks have stretch marks and I need a bra for my back boobs! His reply was I should use my free time to go to the gym. FREE TIME? If I ever experienced such a thing as FREE TIME I can assure you I'm far to knackered to go to the pissing gym.
So once at the party we had to grit our teeth and pretend we are not seething at the fact we are both fat and hate each other. We have come to a resolution shaun is going to move to another gym that's open later. So he can go while Lottie's in bed while I lay on the sofa and eat giant buttons. So all is well again now shaun can work on his sexy body.
I mentioned in a previous blog I was going to get a coil fitted thursay. I went along to this appointment with my best friend Tasha to hold my hand. And guess what their was no need as I am still coil free. Its been re scheduled to bloody valentines day? Least I'm guaranteed action down their even if its unwanted.
Friday I spent the day with my nan, and that bring us up to last night. When we randomly decided we wanted to go bowling at 8.30. We was a little unsure as we had lottie and she would normally be in bed at this time, but as a one off we decided to go ahead. When we got their it was so busy and loud. As I looked around I started to doubt our decision, thinking she was going to hate it. So we decided to just have 1 game and then go home, but to our surprise lottie loved it. I think she enjoyed the happy atmosphere, the music and jazzy lights. She was laughing and shouting and we decided to stay a little longer and have another game. I lost both! I need to find my vocation in life. Maybe by the time I reach 30 I will have found something, other than making people laugh when I don't even mean to. I can be telling someone the most series thing and they just laugh. Like for example the story about my 3 year old hamster mufty dyeing, how is that funny? It broke my heart. RIP MUFTY. Shaun just read this and is laughing his head off! WHY? Its a heart broking moment in my life. I left the poor thing near the radiator and he overheated, how is that a way to go? I've never forgave myself. (Please don't call RSPCA I didn't mean to I loved him).
After bowling we decided to go a little drive while lottie took a well deserved nap. We love to drive around looking at mansions. Choosing the front door we may one day have, or the gates we will live behind when we have made our millions. Its unfair god gave us such an expensive taste but not the cash flow to live up to it.
Hopefully I will have FREE TIME today to go work off this back fat. Plus I've seen a makeup tutorial I want to watch so hopefully I can squeeze in a gym sesh.
Enjoy your sunday I will blog again this week as I have lots to discuss about February being my last month at the hospital, and maybe the end of my blog.x
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