Let me start with the positive. The interviews. Wow I was so nervous. When I dropped lottie of in the morning, as I drove away I took a minute and was like, hang on I am actually doing this.....ALONE. I am driving to notts city centre ALONE I don't even lottie to cling onto. Who gives me confidence and helps give me a push when needed.
On the drive over I'm sure my saliva was coming out the palms have my hands. I had the driest mouth the sweatiest hands and my antiperspirant was having to work double time. To calm my nerves the music of choice was celine dion I needed girl power and the words of a strong influential women (fucking hell that sounds posh).
Once at the hospital I sat in the car and rang my mum wanting her to agree that I should just go home. She didn't agree, telling me to get a grip. Mum I couldn't get a grip the steering wheel with these palms.
If I no I will be in a difficult situation I will wear the brightest clothes I can find, hence the orange coat. Well this time I went with bright orange tailored trousers. I think I do this as I feel the clothes will deflect from my shit scared looking face.
The lady's joining me to interviews where called Lisa and Megan. Lisa was running the show and I begged her to let me just sit in and not ask questions, but just like my mum it was no. ARGGGHHH. I had no way of getting out of this. And the fact the thong that was supposed to make me feel super sassy, was giving me an extreme wedgie wasn't helping.
So here goes the first lady arrives, as she walks closer and closer to the door my hearts starting to beat faster and faster with each step she takes. She steps in the room..........im calm. All my nerves just disappear, my smile suddenly becomes natural and the feeling I need a nervous poop just gone, I'm ready.
Guys no shit It was like I was a new women, a real I wear matching undies and have my shit together women. No faking it. I was professional I introduced myself and asked questions like I did this everyday.
All signs of the girl that sat in that very same room, in that very same chair saying she can no longer go on gone. In her place a confident and bright lady who is going to help choose a nurse that will go on to help thousands of mother and babies. The questions I asked wasn't your everyday interview question they was intense questions that required answers about suicide and child abuse.
I finished the day with a spring in my step. Id taken off my bra as soon as the last interview had finished and set free the bit of string wedged up my ass. Could life get any better? The feeling I had I wish I could bottle up and save, or buy it in b&m. As sadly it didn't last forever, not even 24 hours.
In my last blog I told you how I had driven into a parked car on Monday and the next day it just decided to stop working when I left for work. And it left me feeling like I wanted to smash the heap of shit up.
The only place for it is the scrap yard, so I may be able to boot it after all. So we was left with just 1 car. Friday comes around, which compared to last Friday when I had food poising it was going to be a good day. Lottie was dropped off at nursery me and shaun even managed a little "adult" time.
He was dropping me off at work early Friday afternoon. We drive around the corner and BANG! We have a car accident. In our 1 remaining car. While shauns taking the ladys details and people are getting involved telling us to call the police I'm just sat in the car feeling deflated. How can I possibly call work and tell them this has just happened. This is a new job in the space of just 1 week I've been late so many times. Its at the stage where its awkward.
But the fact my car head light is hanging out, I have a hole in my bumper that I can put my hand in and I'm in tears helps me prove my case. Lucky for me my new work friends and boss are so understanding and really helped me deal with this shit situation. They already no the way to my heart, a cup of coffee, a doughnut and a chat about makeup soon dries up my tears. SO that sums up my crappy Friday.
I don't no how i've made it to Saturday, sadly its no better than yesterday. I have the bum squirts yet again and my little rabbit dusty has been to the vets and has to have an operation later in the week.
While all this crazy has been going on I have missed my little girl so so much. She's clearly missed me also. NOT. She has slept all day, she woke up at 8am had a bottle went back to bed slept till 12pm had a meal and a bottle went back to bed its now 3pm and she is STILL in bed. Wake up I miss you.
My plans for this week. I was supposed to be going out for a few drinks tonight, I'm all prepared I have a new outfit and been to the hairdressers and now I'm not even going out. So shaving my legs was a total waste of time #hatemylife
I've been asked to go to the hospital on Tuesday and interview some more candidates. Obviously I said yes. I'm super exited. I've also had the go ahead to kick my crap car so I will be sure to update you on this.
Shaun has just asked me why I don't VLOG. If you don't no what this is basically instead of typing out how you feel you video it instead. Let me be honest why I wont vlog. Its because id have to get
ready each time I cant just sit with crisp on my top, bed hair and no makeup on like I can when I blog. Also id have to sit in a way that compliments my double chin(s) pffft no thanks. Nobody wants to see this on a weekly basis.
Here's to a better week.
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