The end is near

Guys I have decided to end my blog. My last appointment is on 11th march so that is the date I will do my last post. I have come to this decision for a few reasons,

1.  I set this up to help with my recovery. the blog and my readers have played a huge part in me getting better. Better being the important word, I am BETTER. I feel as the illness is fingers crossed coming to an end my blog should also.
2. I fear its now boring. I hardly have down days, my life is no longer a spiral of ups and downs. This blog will just become about day to day life which is to be honest pretty boring. All I do now is work, watch tv and complain about being fat, whilst getting covered in baby poo. No one wants to read about that.
3. I'm running out of time. I feel like I hardly get time to blog now. I want it to have a start and a finish rather that it just drift away and slowly become nothing. Or everyone just gets bored and I just blog to myself.

When I complete my last post It will be so emotional. I have depended on this blog more than you will no. At times it gave me a purpose, I had to get through the day so I could update my blog. This may sound so lame but it became my focus, not my only focus but one of them. It has made me feel not alone. Because even if I just had 1 reader, someone was listening maybe even understanding.

I have blogged and cried, blogged and laughed felt every emotion whilst telling a keyboard how I feel, maybe sometimes you felt it to?

I feel I have made new friends, stranger friends, i have no idea what you all look like, who you are but i no your their so thank you for being here. And i hope i have helped some of you also. The good news is, its not over yet! You have me until the 11th and i will try to post as much as i can before my final one. And shaun is going to try and tell his side of the story. I could also try and rope mum and dad into it, but i will pre warn you they struggle sending a text and dads got a very warped sense of humour so it may not be such a good idea. Ill call a family meeting and see what i can do.

Now let me update you on life since my last post. Its been a while sorry, to refresh your mind it was the day i did my first round of interviews. When i nearly had a nervous poo and suffered the mother of all wedgies? Since then we have had a 2nd day at interviewing and the candidate has been chosen. And i feel the questions i asked and the in put i gave made a huge difference. I made a difference, and had a voice and it felt amazing.

Whilst at the hospital the date was set for my final appointment. This one is going to be a little different, its not with my doctor (pony), its not with my nurse.........its with both of them. I'm unsure why but it gives me a nervous tummy. Is this because its the final one, done discharged? Or is it because i will have to sit in a confined space feeling like i am the one being interviewed? I'm in the hot seat. Maybe its the unknown, i have no idea how this final appointment will go. Will it be some assessment to make sure i am stable enough to go at it alone or maybe it will be a casual thing, just sat talking about something random like how my toe is infected again.

Well its not going to be casual actually. I have requested bunting and cakes. Also my friend on reception has sent an email round regarding my party which is to be held at reception. All attending must wear coral and bring cake. This was done a little tongue in cheek but see you their!!

This weekend shaun has been away at a stag due in Newcastle. A stag do he booked when i was first diagnosed. He booked it thinking he wouldn't be attending, as i could not be left as i struggled with intense intrusive thoughts. We wasn't sure how long this would go on for, or if it would ever be the same again. But the time has come and all is fine. He was able to go and not worry. A huge achievement as this was something we doubted would ever happen again.

To keep me company my heavily pregnant best friend came round. We had a Chinese and attempted to make friendship bracelets. Which said on the box could be achieved by an 8 year old. ASIF! I couldn't even get my head around the instructions never mind actually making the things. We may not have bracelets to prove our friendship but the fact i shown her how brown my nipples went when i was pregnant proves it!

Also little lottie turned 10 month old. To celebrate i dressed her as scary spice. I have the tools to dress her as them all but getting a 10 month old to wear a wig aint easy. I have to catch her in a good mood. I'm also struggling to find a union jack dress for a 10 month but watch this spice #girlpower

I also have another opportunity to dress her up this week as its world book day on Friday. Hold on to you hats guys the outfit is on order. You are going to die its so good!

I must dash now as i am off to see my glam nan.

Love ya