How have I ended up blogging? I'm supposed to be looking into smart answers I can give tomorrow at an interview, which I have tomorrow. An interview so that I can start helping on the Hopewood mother and baby unit, helping ladies who suffered like I did, or maybe ladies that are suffering in a total different way to how I did, with different symptoms ect. But still suffering and walk around feeling like they have a stamp on their head " POST NATAL DEPRESSION".
I understand that feeling, and am lucky enough to have this opportunity to do my bit in this world that I discovered just over a year ago, but feel like it has been part of me my whole life. I am forever learning about this illness, and feel like I understand so much, yet tomorrow I feel like I have nothing to say. I cant put into actual words how I feel. How I want to help others, mother family's, friends everybody. Help mend broken hearts and broken minds, show their is a light after the shitty darkness.
I'm sat with my little notebook, googling interview questions, my book is blank and the only thing I can think to do right now is blog. The only thing I can think to do it use my blog to help. So here are a few questions I may get tomorrow, and Ill tell you (nobody...... my 1 reader? HI MUM) what ever comes to mind.
Tell me about your self? (easy I love talking about myself) I'm a mum, I'm 30 but feel about 25 and look about 12 blah blah blah.
What do I no about the organisation? I cant answer this with all facts and figures. Like a professional would. And I don't want to try and guess all the clever stuff. I just know its wonderful, and it saved my life.
Why do you want to work for us? I want to give back, I have a passion to show other women its ok, as much as it seems like this is life now, its not. I understand how much an ill lady disbelieves this, I understand the urge they have to scream "you don't understand" in the face of who ever tells them it will be ok.
What can you bring to the company? Trust. No disrespect to doctors and medical staff who do an amazing job. Nobody will trust a mum like another mum. Your baby doesn't sleep at night? neither does mine, phew she gets it. Your gagging for a cuppa, so am I, instant connection. These 2 tiny conversations happen a thousand times a day. Us mum get each other,
I feel the same can be said regarding post natal depression, to talk to a mum "who gets it", lightens the burden and makes us feel less alone, weather its baby shit or needing to take our head for a shit, sharing is caring, and I know in my situation I was more likely to listen to another mother who has recovered, than a doctor who read about it.
What are your weaknesses? Hunny look at me, I'm basically a goddess, I aint got non! Errrrrrmmm
Sometimes I may be a few minutes late because my child can wake up and the mornings just don't work! I also may present myself with frizzy hair, and a mono brow because id rather have an early night that take care of my appearance.
Another day ill slay like beyonce, ill be walking on air, lippy on feeling like I can take on the world, because my morning worked. So lets say my weakness is sometimes letting my beautiful child dictate which version of myself I will be.
Strengths? I can carry 2 bottles of milk, a loaf of bread, car keys, phone, purse, a teddy, dummy and child all at the same time?!
My strengths are, trying to find good in all situations, my poker face and my ability to adapt to different situations. although sometimes ill let slip my true council estate self, when I'm trying to be all prim and proper.
Challenges I may face? Seriously ill ladies. Which right now, honestly I have no idea how I would deal with the situation. But In the future with training this will come. I am so driven to give my all to this. I'm aware this will be emotional, but I feel I know my limits. I am a fast learner, compassionate and tactile making me good in such situations. (PHAHAH how posh do I sound? tactile daaarling tactile)
Achievement I am proud of? I don't wanna be a barry big head but can I say more than 1? Saving a life, creating such a wonderful life for lottie and the journey I have been on since having her, I have beat depression, and given people belief that I can help others, with my ability to be honest, brave and willing.
Oh I hope they ask this one, what animal would I be? A pig, because you get to roll around in your own shit all day, with your stinking shitty friends that don't judge you. Being fats a good thing, other than the slaughter house you don't have that much to worry about. Any your pink, not very hairy and deep down everyone likes you?
Wow that's really helped yano! Like really really!
For those who read my last blog, a year on, you would have read that I lost my nana almost 2 month ago. Well today she would have been 88. OH yes 2 fat ladies, I think she got sick of me saying that joke, but id say anything to try and motivate her to stay around and meet the 2 fat ladies, But it wasn't to be.
Being at work today has been crap, its just so strange how the world continues while your hearts breaking. People moan about the loo roll epidemic and I just think how about you get that loo roll n cram it in your mouth coz its full of shit! Yet I stand and smile sweetly.
Anyway wish me luck for tomorrow, and ill update you when I get a second, maybe in a week, a year maybe 2, who knows.
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