1 year on!

I've decided to dust of the laptop and give the blog world an update. Its been so long I had actually forgot my password, I haven't been logging on, assuming you had all just forgot about me, but shock my old posts are still getting views!
I have no idea how to start this blog, I intend to do a few, its been a long year guys i have so much to say. I also feel blogging again may help me find my way, as it did before, but this time for a different reason.
Before I get onto the deep and meaningful cry your eyes out stuff let me start with on update on lottie seen as there wouldn't even be a blog if it wasn't for my little pea!
I'm not going to lie she is an absolute dream, she goes to bed at 8 wakes up 12 hours later, eats all her dinner and when I do the I'm going to count to 3 and then...........probably do nothing I only get to 1 and she behaves. She's so good I actually feel sorry for her. That's a thing right?
But a dream its not always been, ohhhhhhh no! Id like to say the stress of it made me loose weight but unfortunately not, the only thing I lost was my side of the bed. Because that's where lottie took up residency for a while, leaving me sandwiched between shaun and lottie.
I say sandwiched, I was more stuck, like physically stuck to them 1 on the front 1 on the back because they both sweat so much while they sleep. Every time I moved, lottie cried and every time lottie cried, shaun farted.
But I carried on night after night, sleeping(ish) when lottie wanted to sleep, waking when she wanted to wake. She was running the show and I was her puppet. She was hitting out, throwing stuff and I just thought one day things would calm down. I didn't think she needed a telling off or a naughty step, these things work themselves out? Surely she wont want to strangle me for the rest of her life, its got to stop at some point? i tell you now it gets worse.
Once I realised that I knew it was time to make lottie realise she may be the princess but i'm the queen so what i say goes! I decided it was set in stone no matter what lottie was going in her own bed, even if I never sleep again. That first night what the hell, I'm sure she was possessed and I think I got no sleep, each night I got more and more sleep which leads me to now. I have a princess who will take herself to bed no fuss. I have my side of the bed back. I miss the cuddles like crazy, I wake up missing her but i know its for her benefit.
Can you believe she is almost 2 now. She has her own personality, she loves to dance and has just started dance classes, she is such a chatterbox as well. She is my shadow and brings joy to my life. The future hopefully involves me doing more regarding postnatal depression, in the last year i have still been involved with hopewood perinatal unit as well as my normal job. My next blog i will chat more about this. I have a list of topics i want to blog about over the next few month here's a few,
My new hobby which i think is driving everyone mad (but who gives a shit it makes me happy),
Our first family holiday which was just typical us everything went wrong!
Turning 30 and my family & friends not giving a shit! (wink wink)
My nana being ill and sadly loosing her which is one of the reasons i want to blog again. This happened just over a week ago and already i miss her like crazy, i feel lost, my days are empty not being able to pop for a coffee in my Christmas mug.
I hope you have enjoyed catching up. So many people have asked for an update, and i hope not to disappoint. I hope my next few blogs make you smile.
Again this blog comes at a time in my life when all is not perfect, i am hurting but for a different reason. I am grieving, but unlike before a lot more people understand. Sadly most of us have lost a loved one, with only 1 good thing coming from that. Compassion, we are all able to comprehend and understand what another is feeling without that person uttering a single word.