Thursday, 6 December 2018

Stuck in a rut

Need to rant I'm so upset and frustrated. I am sick of being stuck in this house. Its been almost 2 weeks since the car broke. And its just cut off the world. Its not good for me at all spending everyday in this house with the odd trip to the hospital.
I was looking forward to going to a mother and baby group on Monday but my support worker was ill. So It was a day in the house for us. Tuesday I had the hospital for an hour, Wednesday stayed in the house again. And today another play group was on. So rather than rely on someone else to come with me I planned to go alone.
All was sorted today I had mine and lottie's clothes ready, I fake tanned last night. And was exited for a morning not spent watching catch up tv. So I set an alarm, got showered me and lottie dressed and fed on time. For a morning of fun. Guess what the rain cover is in the car which shaun has taken to work. His advice is to borrow one off a neighbour. Personally I don't feel comfortable knocking on a strangers door saying "hi I'm chelsey I'm trying to escape my house could you please help me by lending me a rain cover".
So its another boring day for us! The closest I have come to the out doors and nature is the fucking Christmas tree! Its only play group but with my meds being reduced and not seeing another sole bar the naughty elf lottie and shaun I just needed to see a different face.
I think even lottie is sick of these 4 walls. Also its nice for people to say oh if you need anything, ect ect. But where are all these people? the messages and kind words are nice. And promising to "pop" round. But nobody actually does. Even if sometimes I reach out it always falls flat. I'm not slagging people off. Everyone has their own life. But i've been flooded with lovely messages and promises of meeting up. Yet I don't see 1 person?
So I'm off now to put all our going out stuff away. And get back to the daily arsehole routine. Maybe lottie will mix things up for me a little and shit on the carpet or something. Give me something to do for an hour. My motivation to get out and about is fading just like this pointless fake tan!
Infact I am so bored I am going to give you a breakdown of my lame day to day life.
9-10am Lottie bow wakes me up having a sing along In the cot. Which melts my heart. So its up we get teeth cleaned ass changed (hers not mine). Then its a bottle for lottie.
10-11am Lottie has her breakfast, and feeds herself while I wash the pots. Then its the big clean up. She gets food all over (see video). This includes on the cupboards the floor and she likes to wear it head to toe. Sometimes I see the postman and have a chat. Breaks up my morning old postman pat.
11-12pm Once clean its nap time. Recently naps will only be taken in my arms so I ensure I'm fed an watered ready to be stuck on the sofa for an hour. Bored shitless.
12-1 Milk and snack time for lottie. And often this is also poo time.
1-2pm shaun gets home and I ask him about his day. Adding nothing to the conversation unless i've seen a scandal on facebook.
2-3pm Sort mine and shauns diner.
The rest of the day will be spent doing odd jobs maybe blogging and bath and bed. THRILLING.

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