And I loved it my adrenalin was pumping, my face was beetroot and I had jelly legs.
The next day wow I couldn't even move my toes. I was in agony, this was no post work out ache, it felt like my insides had been torn apart. I was crying and couldn't sit up. Of to the doctors I hobbled, turns our I had torn the muscles that had been affected from having a c-section. And my god it hurt more than when I had the C-section. So it was strictly no gym for 1 month. And its been a month to the day so I was raring to go back. I think I have learnt my lesson and only went on the bike. I'm hoping 5 miles isn't to much. We shell see tomorrow. And if I'm fine I will go to the gym again as I need to shift this belly. We was having hanky panky the other night and I looked at my stomach and it looked like a caterpillar! I've never had to diet before so I find it difficult, I just love Nutella! Maybe I will just live out the rest of my life being a Nutella eating caterpillar.
Today I've been and made a new friend. Or rather stole a friend from shaun. He new her from school. We said we would meet up for agers and today we got the chance. So I popped round her house. Yano when you meet someone and it feels like you have always known them, it was like that. I think I am one off those people you love me or you hate me. MARMITE. Because I have a strong personality and resting bitch face. I've been told I look like one off the mean girls. Maybe I can appear a little ignorant as well. But that is not me being rude, that's me daydreaming. Sometimes my mind wonders off into a land of unicorns and butterflies and I can forget I'm in a room full of people.
My mum always said she worried about me growing up as I see a world full of rabbits and butterflies. She was maybe afraid that one day id realise their is bad in this world as well as all the lovely things.
And yes like everyone I hate the bad. When I found out I was pregnant their had just been a terror attack. 17th August 2017. A 22 year old man drove a van into innocent pedestrians in Barcelona. This should have been such a happy moment for me finding out I was pregnant. But I was just so upset. I felt guilty for feeling happy, when so many people where suffering. Now I try to look at it as, when a life ends a new one begins, and lottie was one of them soles lost that day. An angel.
I do always try to see a positive in a situation. So depression was a shock to me. I am the opposite to depression normally. But depression took me to a scary world where you can not see positives. You don't see good in the world, beauty or kindness. Days are dark.
Thankfully I am getting back to my old self. The fact I painted shauns nails bright pink last night while he slept, is a sign I'm me again. Having fun and laughing was such an effort when I was ill but now its becoming part off every day life. Anyway I did the MANicure then went on facebook after, and found a post shaun had wrote before he went to sleep. Saying how everyday he is proud off me and my recovery. How awful I felt. He had done such a sweet thing yet was laid with pink UV nails. I heard him looking for the nail varnish remover at 5.30am then I found him in the kitchen trying to remove it with vodka!
And Monday guys I went to a baby group. And felt like such a grown up. How singing twinkle twinkle can make you feel so adult I have no clue. But I did. I hit them nursery rhymes hard. Is it acceptable to drop the mic in a room full of 5 year olds?
The rest of the week will be spent prepping for my works due Saturday. I still need to shave, I'm litrelly the hairiest women ever. I have more facial hair than shaun. Who even gets cheek hair ewww! So its a full body wax head to toe! I also have more root than a tree right now cant wait to go to the hairdressers and blow £70 on a bit of bleech. I've also got to tan, step aside beyonce I will be the new bronzed goddess by this weekend, I need to remove my gel nails and re do them but I have an infection in my toe again so I'm trying to put it off because I know its going to sting like a bitch. In between all this glamourfying I will try and blog. Because at the mo ive only got up to the point when I called my midwife for help. And I have much more to talk about in regards to my depression and recovery, but I seem to keep going off topic. And talking about my bodily functions, random hair growth and toe infections.
Chat soon stay sexy.
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