the response will be something like, "I did it last time"
"yeah and I did it the time before, woopiedoo"
"well the one I did smelt worse"
then it can totally change direction and go some place random and you start recalling the Christmas you cooked diner for 5, served a cheese board AND washed the pots.
Conversations like this are happening daily now and I have even started storing things up ready for a comparing sesh, I'm counting how many cups I wash or who puts the most shopping away after our weekly Saturday shop. Someone tell me this is a thing, even if you don't have children, I'm sure we did it pre lottie, just not as much, and not about human poo.
Fingers crossed we don't have a comparenting battle tonight as I have done eff all. But it was hard work! Little miss lottie I have no idea what is wrong with her its feels like she's 3 month old again, I'm back to the days when I can not get anything done, eat, drink or anything. She just constantly wants mama, and what ever mama has. Leaving me not being able to eat without her crying, poo without her staring at me or text my 1 friend to complain about being strapped to the sofa.
I do love how she wants cuddles all the time but its harder work now she's a big girl, shes heavy and wants to climb all over me and only me. Leaving me with a bruised tummy. You may read this and think, well don't pick her up. Trust me I try but I cant leave her to cry, it hurts my heart. Shauns tried to help but sometimes she wont even go to him. And I feel guilty for moaning when he says its not that bad, but I look over at him chilling solo giggling at Britain's got talent, while I sit with lottie chewing on my hearing aid at 10pm clearly absolutely shattered but having to much fun using mummy as a bouncy castle and slavering all over my new pyjamas.
Pyjamas that I thought was going to change my life. Oh a life without my pyjamas cutting into my sides, heaven. Its not heaven after all, they are 2 long and I keep tripping up. So I either risk loosing circulation in my legs in my old ones or a black eye in my new ones, either way I'm still not getting dressed before 12.
I did actually get dressed today, but I cant remember doing so as I had a toddler climbing me like a tree, it was hectic and it wasn't until I got to baby group I actually sat down and realised id not washed my face. And what really got my goat is while I was at baby group someone decided to offer me parenting advice. Which I appreciate, but the timing was off. Most of the other babies are sat on the floor playing and all lottie wants to do is chill and sqirm on my knee.
When the toys came out she wanted 1 but didn't want to leave me to get one. So I took her over to the toys and left her. She just cried and crawled after me. When I sat back down, lets call her nanny Brenda who had obviously been watching me and lottie, pipes up and says "oh it will pass, my daughter in law with her 1st child blah blah blah" That little angry voice in my head was bursting to just say well why don't we call your daughter in law and get her to come over and ill hand her a parent of the year award. And while she's on her way she can pick me up a frapachino because I NEED a drink. And if I'm naughty while your daughter in law is here can she please put me on the naughty step because I need 5! But thanks for trying Brenda but at that moment......just no.
Pre lotties 1st birthday, or even last week I was so smug. Things have been running so smooth, but now its like I have a different baby. Don't get me wrong she's perfect but when she's having tantrums I start over thinking, is it me? does she hate me? dose she think I hate her so its making her hate me? She has discovered anger, she screams she throws, she pouts her lips out and snorts like a little pig, it was funny at first but now its getting on my uneven tits a bit!
During my google search to find others in the same unfit mother state, I found an interesting fact. The brains of toddlers are a lot more advanced than the body, leading to frustration. For example they want to talk and understand words, but can put words together to have a conversation them selves, they want to stack blocks but don't have the skills yet to do so, their mind gets it but their hands don't, meaning they hate life at that moment.
I am trying to remember this when she is chucking herself around, but its hard when she's chucking building blocks in my face. I am back at work tomorrow after a few days off, giving my back a break from carrying ten ton tess round all day. As much as I moan I will miss her so much.
I must dash, shaun has just got back from taking lottie on a road trip for an hour to give me a break. I think he could see I needed it when he got in and I was crying because id been trying to wash the pots since 10am and had still not washed my face.
Being a mum is the most amazing job in the world, and its so special now I'm starting to see a little of her sassy personality. But when nap times are up in the air, and little one has decided to piss all over your perfect routine and decides to go to sleep on a park tyre swing thing like a homeless person (yes that happened today), you need to take 5 have a cuppa and wash your armpits (yes pushing her while she slept on a tyre all morning was sweaty work)
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Thanks for reading my lovely's and please tell me this comparenting, sweaty betty, clingy baby life isn't just me.
